Newsletter Page for Father Vince

Holy Week, Passover, Easter Time, Spring 2004

Hello Everyone,

Do you remember the movie Moonstruck? Talk about life having surprises and taking unexpected twists and turns. Remember Cher’s character, Loretta? She was supposed to marry Johnny Cammareri(played by Danny Aiello)--he was the average Joe, the safe one. Loretta felt she was getting too old and stuck in her ways to be attractive and then she meets Ronny, Johnny’s brother, (played by Nicolas Cage) and they fall in love by sharing a love of opera!

Toward the end of the movie, remember the scene at Loretta’s kitchen table? There she sits with her parents, aunt and uncle and newfound love. In walks Johnny Cammareri and Loretta has to confront him and give him his engagement ring back. Then, Ronny asks to borrow it and proposes to Loretta. All this melodrama is focused in and around the family and the family table. Loretta knows her family is eccentric but she confides in them and has the courage to take a risk. Loretta thinks she is supposed to marry Johnny, knows in her heart that she is settling, takes that risk knowing that her family will be there to support her, and finds her life’s love in Ronny. Whew, what a ride!!

Families aren’t perfect—nor are they supposed to be. They just are. If we are honest, we must admit that we have expectations about how families should act. We try most of our adult lives trying to make sense out of familial relationships and how they have impacted out lives. Sometimes we blame our families for our personality quirks; other times we commend them for making us the fine people we are. Sometimes we come close to understanding their complexity, other times, we miss the boat. Families aren’t perfect— nor are they supposed to be. They just are. If we can acknowledge that they have done the best with what they were given, we may come to a place of peace and understanding in our own lives and relationships.

Now, bring your focus to another family table—the one made famous by many artists, especially DaVinci. Many of us know it by the name The Last Supper. All those folks gathered around the focal points of Jesus, Peter and John, and of course, Mary Magdalene. All of them vying for attention, wondering what was about to happen to their Master, casting out lines to be acknowledged by the Christ. All of them trying to understand the meaning of the words Jesus was speaking, “take, eat and drink; whenever you do this, do it in my memory”. Talk about a crazy family. For many this family is the foundation of Faith. Many of Jesus’ followers expected Jesus to be a certain type of Rabbi, safe and predictable. But Jesus throws them a curve and through his patient example tries to bring out the best in each of them by affirming their goodness, acknowledging the Divine Spirit in each of them and challenging them to love without counting the cost. Some of the disciples get it, some get it later on, others miss the point. Families aren’t perfect— nor are they supposed to be. They just are.

As we move into Spring and look ahead through the lenses of Holy Week, Passover and Easter time, let’s remember that this season is about family, taking risks, not placing blame, and sitting around the table to share food, conversation, hopes, fears and dreams for the future. That’s what Loretta did in Moonstruck. That’s the powerful message depicted in The Last Supper.

This is not the same season as the wonder-filled anticipation of Christmas. It is the season in which we recommit our adult selves to take a chance with those we love, to love them more deeply; to look beyond their foibles and quirks (that are not really the essence of who they are), to embrace them as we want to be embraced ourselves; to acknowledge within them the Spirit of God which infuses all life and call them to be their best selves. This, to me, is the central message of Easter and Resurrection—new life found by taking risks, giving unselfishly and loving everyone without reservation. Difficult? No doubt. Possible? Certainly, as long as we lean on those we call family, around our table, a table built with honesty, communication and respect. Christine, Julia Peter and I wish you the blessings of this holy time of the year.

Those of you who are planning your wedding (or are recent newly-weds) are involved in a joyful, but no less demanding undertaking. I hope these Zen precepts on marriage help you to celebrate your relationship.

§ In every way we can, we allow our deepest Self to appear.

§ We take full responsibility for our own life, in all its infinite dimensions.

§ We affirm our trust in the honesty and wisdom of our own body, which with our love and reverence always shows us the true way.

§ We are each committed to embrace all parts of our self, including our deepest fears and shadows,

so that they can be transformed into light.

§ We affirm our willingness to keep our heart open, even in the midst of great pain.

I have the honor of working with the couples listed below.

Keep them (and me) in your thoughts as they celebrate their weddings in 2004!

Baylin & Michael Amy & Rich Michael & Marie Tisa & Brian

Kimberly & Stephen Debora & Jeffrey Jennifer & Tom Mark & Jessica

Christy & Simon Duncan & Alison Kathleen & Terence Vita & Stephen

Sonia & Henry Neha & Kent Lisa & Adam Hazel & Tybaldt

Regan & Oengus Susanna & Steven Natalie & Michael Phil & Tracye

Cindy & John Laura & Christopher Leigh & Matthew Sharon & Rich

Annmarie & Michael Michele & Sergio Karyn & Kevin Terry & Richard

Nancy & Tom Matthew & Lori Kate & Edward Mary & Anthony